A Year Long Adventure with God, Love, and Writing Utensils

The Beginning

Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. Years, actually.

Anyway, I thought I’d post a link for those of you who may be a bit lost.

If you’re looking for the beginning of this confusing mess it can be foundĀ here.

Then, scroll to the bottom of the page until you find the words “next post” and click that and you’re off and running.

Thanks for reading!

*Blog is no longer in active use.

Where I’d like to be December 31st 2012

I’d love to see Paris this year, on New Years Eve. Just to see this sight. And I probably won’t get too, just like I probably won’t get to be with who I’d like to be with on that night.

I will Never Forget

It’s been a really long time since I’ve posted anything here. I’m not to sure what to say here. This blog came with such an attchement to a life I was a living a long time ago. Part of the life I had then is still with me now. I won’t forget the awesome music, and writing, and God, and the beautiful things that happened when I had this blog.

Miss it, yeah. Forget it? Never. I love this place. Probably always will.

I have a new house now. We got moved into one. Stacey (my step mom) Donna (my sister) and me. It’s nice to be in our home. I love my pastor (who I was living with, and his family) but you can only forcce two families together for so long.

I’ve succomend to the new and modern age a lot more then before. This makes me sad. I didn’t want to be one of the Facebook masses, but I am. I have a facebook page. I want to tear it down already, before I’m sucked into it. I don’t want to be the person who is always checking their facebook account.

I’m still writing, but not like before. Now I wonder if I even want to write. Don’t get me wrong. I love writing. It’s a huge part of my life. It’s always been a big part of my life, and I’ll probably keep writing until I die. But not to be published. At least, not to be published how I currently am. Things need to change still.

A few years ago, writing took me down this amazing road where I met some awesome people. I learned about God. Struggled with that a lot. I learnt what words ccan really do for people, by bringing out feelings that they didn’t know existed in them. It’s out strongest tool.

I didn’t know there was so much more out there then what was in my small world. But there is. There is a huge amount of knowledge and just things and people to know out there. I attatch to a lot of these things. Wrap myself around the people that I love the most, and never want to let them go. It hurts when you have to let go anyway.

I’ve decided to close down my blog. It’s not doing me very much good to have it open. Keeping my blog open, and giving it a use, just gives me hope. It gives hope for something I won’t get. And that hurts more then helps.

Deciding to give up this blog, leaving it all behind me, is like having to cut a part of myself away. Because in a way, this blog is a part of myself. It’s rittled in depression, pain, songs, art, and friends. I love this place. It became a home when I needed one.

This won’t be my last blog I ever have. Surely, no. I may even go start another one soon. Maybe I’ll make it private. Have my real name. Have the things I’m to afraid to show other people, like the art and the poems.

I don’t assume anyone to understand that this hurts to be shutting down my blog. I’m going to leave it open so people can still read it. But I won’t be returning for it. I have to let it go, so I can go.

I want to be able to let go of facebook someday. I really don’t want to be wrapped up in it. I’m not sure how I got sucked into to begin with.

I decided this recently. And I guess, this was a deciding factor. What I’m listening to.

just before I made my blog, I heard this song.

And I heard it and listening to the entire time I had my blog. It is, in a way, the soundtract of my blog.

The Mystery of a Handshake

I can’t shake hands. At all.

Someone throws a hand out at me and I just stare at it, wondering if I can manage to shake the person’s hand this time. But I never do. We grasp hands and my arm just hangs there like a limp spagetti noodle.

I met this guy on easter, who was amazing, and he offered me his hand to shake. And he has a nice hand shake. Not to rough and not to limpy.

But my hand just wiggles around, like theres something crawling all over it.

My STEP uncle has a really rough hand shake, and big hands. So my hand is just swallowed in his and my hand just lays there like a trapped new born kitten.

I suck at hand shakes.

Don’t you just…

Don’t you just hate it when your expecting something and then suddenly your expectations are crushed?

Yeah, me too.

Bought a new book. Had an Easter dinner. Met this guy.

Yep. That’s been my weekend. And Monday was – well it was Monday.

I had a dream a…

I had a dream about my Dad last night. It was kind of frightening.

Last day of school before Spring break, so I probably won’t be back here until Monday. Staying the night at a friends place in the city on Saturday. It’s her birthday. Need to go buy a present for her.

Therapist tomorrow.

We have temporary custody over Donna again. When the divorce is finalized we’ll have full custody.

It’s a blah day. I’ll get through.

Hearing: Computers running

I made an Email…

I made an Email today. It’s been two years since I’ve had my very own email. I’m trying to re-learn Yahoo again.

Dad’s in bad health. Got a call last night.

Not sure where to go, so I’m not making any hasty decisions.

Juliet the Hen/Rooster

I am passing my math class. That’s the really good news.

I was on my bus today, driving across the creek where I was baptised, and I had a sudden idea. A form of surprise. But I don’t think it will come true.

I wrote a blog post for December a few months back. Maybe it was January because it was right after New Years. And I think that blog post is coming true. I really hoped the opposite, but I can’t ask for the unallowed.

Singing tonight. At church. And then dinner at church.

I’m teaching myself piano. I love piano. Very pretty sounds, and I’m doing well I think. Odd little moments where I can grab it and peck around at the keys.

Speaking of peck, I won a chick. At a carnival. Now, I pet it a lot. I call it Juliet. I don’t know the gender. Kinda wondering what I’m going to do with a chicken. Love it, I guess. Really hope it’s a hen because people want to eat the roosters.

Hearing: Class and Taylor Swift

On my mind….C…

On my mind….




Michael Robotham



Study Island



Silly Phone Calls





Very Well Supported Essay




Life Altering

Lot’s of life altering things going on recently.

Had a dream two nights ago. It turned out to be a nightmare. Also dreamed about my old friend Jay. Hope he’s doing well.

And now for my life altering decisons. I have decided to (try) go to an art’s school. Maybe major in Creative Writing and Minor in Journalism. Or something along those lines. A pipe dream, I know. Dad would tell me to keep dreaming, that I’ll never be a writer. I disagree, obviously.

Also decided I’d like to try my luck at singing. As in, professionally. Not sure how to go about that. Have to find out soon. Maybe it’s all the church singing and Choir. I want to follow that, at least until someone tells me I can’t.

I think that should be a life goal. Do everything you want to do until someone says you can’t. And then you keep going.

I’m well. Court tomorrow. Dad’s out of the hospital, which is scary.

Anyway, gotta run. See if EverFi is loaded yet.



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